Sturm und drang. So throw me a donut.

Monday, July 1, 2013

I love this game...

I've missed this game for several weeks now...so I'm catching up. You can catch up at LunaNina and play this game too!


I say ... and you think ... ?

1.  Pillow :: What I should have under my head as I'm sleeping...but instead I'm sitting straight up in bed because my husband is awake and mad at me. Well, not awake in the normal sense, but rather "awake" as in his eyes were open but no one was home.

He woke me up by grabbing my arm and said "I just had the weirdest dream. You left me because I decided to go into politics and run for office cuz someone has to beat Rick Perry."
I said, "Couldn't you just beat him with a stick?"
He said, "You were mad at me because I needed $1,000 to run for office."
I said, "I'm mad at you for NOT. BEING. ASLEEP." 


 He takes sleep meds for his insomnia, and the little blue pill kicked in HARD last night. After I rolled over and stopped talking to him, he started mumbling about how we needed to start raising money because someone has to get that s.o.b. out of office and we need to form an action committee and I need to have a platform...

 God almighty. I couldn't get back to sleep until Mr. Mumbles stopped making evil plans to take over the world.


2.  Calendar :: That thing I hang up on my wall every January and then promptly forget to turn at the end of each month. I really love winter, so maybe I'm subliminally willing winter to stay until June.


3.  Melissa ::  Third grade. I think that's the last time I knew a Melissa.


4.  Notebook ::  The. Nicholas Sparks movies are my guilty pleasure! I only watch them when no one is at home.


 5.  Circumstance :: That thing which, although invisible and subject to interpretation, foils some of my best laid plans. Like today: It was supposed to be 94 degrees, but just as we were leaving to go swimming in the river, the clouds rolled in and the temperature dropped to 82 degrees. I have acclimated surprisingly well to hot weather, so I was chilly at 82 degrees as soon as the slightest breeze began to blow. Jesus, take me now. I have it written into my living will that if I involuntarily turn into a Southerner and cannot tolerate temperatures below 75 degrees (because I'm certainly NOT doing it on purpose) the plug must be pulled forthwith.


6.  Technical :: That part of my degree which makes it practical: English - Technical Writing.


7.  Bracket :: I have four wind chimes hanging from old plant brackets on my deck. It's the only thing I've done to decorate outside.


8.  Horror :: Movies. Are there any other kind?! The Chiller Channel is a work of art. I remember, somewhere around 1980, when my sister and I were camped out in the living room after midnight to watch Salem's Lot on TV. We were living in an apartment with wasp paper for walls and our neighbor heard the movie from our tv loud and clear. During a really scary part, he snuck up to our front door and pounded on it just as Mr. Barlow bared his fangs and pounced on some poor sucker and killed him. I've never been the same since.


9.  Pink :: My least favorite color.


10. Polish :: Sausage. My mother went through a phase where we had to have polish sausage and sauerkraut for dinner once a week. I hated it. I hated everything about it. I ate one bite to keep her happy and then glowered at my dinner plate for the rest of the meal. One night, mom got mad and lectured me about eating the sausage, while at the same time she was trying to squeeze some mustard out of the French's Mustard bottle onto her dinner plate. There must have been a chunk of dried mustard stuck in the spout because no matter how hard she shook that bottle and squeezed it, nothing came out. Mom gave the bottle one last mighty shake and squeeze, which popped off the entire lid, and a good half cup of mustard splashed down on her plate and spattered all over her chest and face like a Pollock painting.

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