Sturm und drang. So throw me a donut.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Finding the Things I Want

You know that feeling of possibility when you turn in an application for a job that is meant to be yours? Yeah. That's how I feel. But then the rational part of my mind says odds are you won't even get a phone call.

I was talking to someone last night who applied for the same job and my fantasy of more money and a better job evaporated. That person has way more to offer; more degrees, more experience, more answers to the questions that will be asked in an interview.

I hate it when I feel like this.

So, I wrote a couple of story pitches and felt a little bit better. And next week I start my volunteer work with a local animal shelter where I will not only play with dogs and cats but have the opportunity to write copy for animals up for adoption. This makes me feel happier than any other job I've applied for lately. I guess I know where my heart wants to be, while my brain just wants to make more money.

Since the end of April, when I last posted, I've been doing a lot of soul searching. May was a month of insanity at work; too much to do and not enough people to get it all done. But did I really love what I was doing? Not really. I felt like I was just treading water and not really contributing anything of worth. June didn't improve, until now that I'm on vacation. One of the traps I fall into easily is making the mistake of thinking that just because I can do a job well that this is the job I have to keep. I'm lucky I have a job, but there has to be something more waiting for me...somewhere...

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