Sturm und drang. So throw me a donut.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

What I did over the weekend...

I'm eyeball deep in the third season of 24. There's nothing like hours and hours and hours of Keifer Sutherland's deep, gritty voice saying things like:

Do you understand?
Put the cuffs on!
Trust me!
I don't have time to explain!
Yes, sir, Mr. President (as he gets ready to shoot his own boss in the head).

And then there's Downton Abbey. Holy Cats! Lady Sybil, Edith, Ethel! I love a good costume drama. Imagine if Downton Abbey was more like 24...

Anna would be threatening people with a knife to their throats to make them tell the truth about how Bates' ex-wife died.

Mary would be planning a covert operation to murder and replace key members of Parliament in order to change the law and allow her to un-entail DA and inherit it lock, stock, barrel and squirrely valet who is not-so-secretly gay.

And speaking of Thomas, he would be using unlimited amounts of chloroform to knock out the new footman so he can ravish him under the stairway.

Lady Cora would finally have a reason for rolling her eyes and pointing her chin at the floor every time she stops to say something profound: She is also listening to a live feed of Matthew in the basement beating and interrogating one of the servants over the disappearance of a bottle of expensive wine...

Tell me where the wine is! (Screams of agony) I know you know where the wine is! (More screams and the sound of handcuffs grinding against a metal pipe as the unlucky servant tries to get away) I know you know who knows where the wine is! The Bishop dines with us in an hour! I need that wine! (A scream and then a gurgle of words)
Lady Cora, I have located the wine.

Edith would be collecting intel on all available bachelors in the area whilst Lady Violet would be busy making sure everyone is following protocol and getting their assignments.

Daisy would be a mole for a shady terrorist organization and Ethel would be using prostitution as a cover for hunting the mole...

Ah well. I can't have everything...

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