Monday, July 30, 2012
Today is Day One
I left today, moved out of my apartment and took everything that could be stuffed into my truck. My son and his friends spent three hours packing and repacking until we had assembled the puzzle of boxes, bags and stray bits and pieces like Paul the Death Stick. Paul is a carved skull atop and carved walking stick. I fully expect Paul the Death Stick to keep muggers and carjackers away!
It's nice to get away and have lots of mindless driving ahead of us...it keeps my mind off things and makes me feel like I'm moving forward with life. Or just throwing wads of cash out the window. Whichever. I refuse to just take life and live it like someone is keeping score of how many times I screw up. I was listening to some show on the radio, I tuned in halfway through the segment, but I heard the lady say that life can be like a boulder that one has to carry; you think it's too heavy to lift, but somehow you lift it and keep going. I tend not to think of my life like a boulder strapped to my back, but I can identify with that feeling once in a while. I'd like to revise that to say: Unemployment is like a boulder that one has to carry; it is too heavy to lift, so instead you just drag that s.o.b. along until the rope finally snaps.
Over the last dozen years or so, I have discovered that a) I carry a lot of rage, b) I have learned to channel that rage productively (like going back to the university), and c) I have a sh!t list that I keep tucked away in the back of my mind. Let bygones be bygones? Nope. I nurse my rage...And channel it and stroke it and pet it and feed it cheese and then I write stories about it feel so much better :)
So, Springfield, Oregon, it's nice to see you again. IHOP is the same dumpety-dump it was six years ago, but they added a flat screen tv to the dining room wall so we all ate dinner and watched the Olympics. And it was wonderful to stop in Centralia for lunch with Tina (where my son ate a burrito with at least five pounds of beef in it!) and chat for a while. How long did we sit there?? I don't know.
I still have my rock collection buried under all the junk in my truck! Those rocks have travelled farther than many people I know.